Living with REM Behavior Disorder

I have never been diagnosed, but I thought I’d share my story. I first will say, I don’t smoke or drink in excess. I eat really healthy and I’m fairly athletic.

I have always been a fitful sleeper since I was small. I would sleepwalk, scream,talk, and dream vividly, many which were reoccurring. The sleep walking stopped when I was probably around 8 to 10 years of age. I have never stopped dreaming, talking, crying, or screaming. I have always had dreams that go what seems to be all night long. I fall asleep quickly, and with in minutes I have started dreaming. I know this because I have woken myself up from a dream and found it’s only been a couple minutes from when I laid down.

My dreams are the kind that Stephen King could use for books. Scary, highly violent involving searching, fighting, death and dismerberment. I wake screaming, crying, kicking. I learned Jujitsu, which is a lovely martial art and has taught me self defense, however I have learned to use it in my sleep. I have thrown elbows, used kicks, and knees.

One particular night when my boyfriend rolled over and put his arm around me, I put his fingers in a lock and nearly broke them. He told me that when I had his fingers. I agressively mumbled something and then I merely threw his hand away and rolled over like nothing had happened. I don’t remember, ever.

He sleeps with his arms shielding his face, because I have tried to drive my elbows into his face. I have woken myself head butting him and kneeing him. He thinks it’s amusing, maybe only because he is a martial artist too and can defend himself. However he does always try to wake me now during my dreams and he sleeps on the opposite edge of the bed. I think it’s alarming. I worry for his safety and mine.

This happens almost nightly and I don’t take any meds or anything. I took Lexapro about six months last year and it was way worse. I feared sleep, my dreams were raw and violent and my actions were even more intense. I remember my dreams every night. I think if I didn’t dream, I would actually rest for a change and so would those around me.