Living with REM Behavior Disorder

I recently lost my son. According to his girlfriend, he was having bouts of frequent nightmares. He beat his girlfriend while asleep twice. He told her he dreamt of childhood abuse.

The second time he beat her severely. She found her way to the neighbors. Ended up in intensive care for 4 days. When he woke up I assume saw the condition of the room, the blood, found her gone and realized that he had done it again. He walked outside in his skivvies, went to his car trunk, took out his 45 and shot himself in the head.

He was a good kind man, had one more quarter left of 7 years in school. We talked to him the day before and he had great hopes for sustainable energy business he was studying for and his work in the future. He had no obvious problems with his girlfriend. His dreams were about the abuse his stepmother inflicted on him as a young child.

He was trying to protect himself and kill his step mother. My husband and I had been woken by his violent dreams before, and this is what he said he dreamt. He dreamt that the abuse was happening again.

But he was not violent towards anyone before in waking life. Ever. He was 27 years old.

We did not know that 3 weeks before he had tried to strangle his lover in bed while asleep. He must have been too ashamed. His girlfriend said some nights she was able to wake up and restrain him, but he was very difficult to wake up.

If we had known we would have flown down to Eugene and gotten him some help. He was our hope for the future…our comedian, our love light. I’m numb and I simply wanted to share this tragedy with someone who might understand.