I am 17 and for the past couple of years I have had severe trouble with my sleep patterns. At first I just thought I stayed up late and wanted to sleep in because I was a teenager. My parents said that it was nothing to worry about and eventually I would sleep normally again. It’s 4 years later and it has only gotten worse.

It is impossible for me to fall asleep before 4am, and usually I don’t sleep until 6am. I could stay up all night, do intense excerise all day, without caffine or naps, get in bed at 10pm, and still I would lay there all night unable to sleep. And to wake up at the time most people do and be able to function? HA! In order to be awake by 8am, I have to set alarms on full volume at 10 minute intervals for an hour before I can drag myself out of bed.

Mornings are my worst nightmare. It takes me ages to pull myself together. I got my first job this summer at a daycare. My shift started at 7am, and as I don’t drive I had to walk half an hour to get there. In order to be there on time I couldn’t let myself fall asleep, or I would never make it. So I didn’t sleep. I’d work till 5pm, come home exhausted, and lay in bed all night before doing it all over again the next day. I would doze off holding children in my arms, or sit down to play with them and nod off against the wall. Needless to say, I was fired after 3 weeks. Try explaining that to your boss. She just thought I was a useless waste of space teenager. And she isn’t the only one. Although I graduated high school this year, while I was there my teachers all hated me. I was late everyday. My eyes had that permanent glassy look. I had trouble paying attention, and I would occasionaly fall asleep. I am a bright person, but to be alert all day after endless nights of zero to a couple hours of sleep is impossible. If you were to ask my parents to describe me, they would say “she’s lazy, doesn’t care about anything, never listens, lazy, cranky, lazy, slow, lazy.”

It’s hard to explain to people that you don’t give a pooh about what they’re saying because while they are enjoying a mid-morning coffee, you would actually kill someone to be allowed to go back to bed. When I am able to stay up until 6am, sleep till 2pm, and wake up naturally - I feel fantastic. I can function, I’m smart, I’m fun. Everything is wonderful. But that rarely happens. Because “normal” people cannot possibly understand what it is like for people like me, and because few people are aware that sleep disorders besides insomnia exist, life will always be a struggle. I’m thinking I’ll probably still be working the nightshift at McDonald’s when I’m 60. On the bright side - I think people with DSPS probably all have a wicked sense of humour… It’s the only thing that gets you through the day!