Living with Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome

I remember having problems sleeping starting when I was 8 years old. I noticed I would stay up til 12am-2am. As the years progress, it just gets worse. By the time I was in high school, I wasn’t getting to sleep til 5am. I would have to go to detention every day because I was late. Since working full-time, I’ve been fired from 3 jobs for being late and got a warning lecture at 5 other jobs — 4 of which I ended up just quitting because I knew I couldn’t fix it and one I’m still working at because I guess they feel bad for me.

No one accepts the answer that I have DSPS. Everyone thinks I just stay up having fun all night. Because of my son, I feel like I need to work a daytime job and function like a normal parent, but it’s really hard. Right now, I can manage to get to sleep anywhere between 11pm and 1am, but it’s not enough. I’m one of the few that requires 10 hours of sleep and my current jobs asks I be there by 8:30. Everyday when I wake up 2 hours late for work I cry the whole time I’m getting ready because I feel completely out of control of myself. I have yet to find a doctor who can help me. All the other doctors I’ve been to have suggested Melatonin and B-12 or prescribed Xanax, Ambien, and a friend gave me some of her Trazadone; none of which work at all. And forget OTC medicine. The only one that came close to working was the Ambien. It worked for 2 days. Now I just feel a little dizzy when I take it, but it doesn’t help me fall asleep earlier.

The only job I was able to be on time to was one where I didn’t have to be to work til 11pm. I functioned completely normally on this schedule aside from the fact that the hours were weird. I’ve thought about taking on this schedule again, but feel like I can’t because if I were to do so, my son (3 years old) would be alone in the house on the weekends until I woke up in the late afternoon.

It’s a terrible disorder. I’ve tried everything. Like I said, it gets worse every year. I used to be able to stay up for a full day then get back to a normal schedule, but I’m incapable of that now. I’m only 28 years old and I feel like the rest of my life will be spent going from job to job every year or two (however long my employers can take it). And as a mother it’s extremely frustrating because I realize I’m not reliable, my son can’t count on me to have a paycheck, he may despise me for it when he gets older… and there’s nothing I can do about it.