Living with Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome

Greetings,

My name is Jeff and I’m 29 years old. I suppose I am what you call a “productive” member of society, I work 8am to 5pm, I pay my taxes, I survive on my own. However, it has always been a struggle at best, a major strife at the worst. I’ve worked night shift jobs before, but have always been dissatisfied and/or wasn’t able to survive off of the salary. Please lend me a few moments of your time to let me express my thoughts and feelings about the so-called night owl “syndrome”. The truth is not always pretty, but I’d rather be honest and this is how I feel.

I am a night owl. I’ve been this way since infancy. It’s in my nature; it’s in my blood. I feel I have no choice. I dread having to try and go to sleep early. However, not only do I feel that I have no choice because it’s part of my biological makeup, I also love being nocturnal and wouldn’t want it any other way.

I love staying up late into the darkest hours of the night. While the majority of society is fast asleep in their blissful slumber, I am up and active, my mind at its sharpest and clearest. So many people miss out on the majesty and enchantment of how the stars shine at night, how calm and quiet the world seems, how the moon changes its phase and color over the months, how a cat’s eyes glow, how interesting a bat’s flight pattern is. They also forget that there are as many nocturnal creatures as there are “diurnal” ones.

Why should humans be any different? It is true that we are a minority, but that doesn’t mean it’s all in our heads. It also doesn’t mean that it’s a disorder. How insulting and misunderstanding that viewpoint really is. The person who coined the term “DSPS” and officially declared it a problem or a disorder was either 1) A day person, or 2) A night owl at odds with his/her own nature.

What is a blessing is also a curse. On weekdays I usually get about 4 to 5.5 hours of sleep – 6 if I’m lucky. So as you can imagine, most days at work I am exhausted, but somehow I’ve managed to uphold a good job thus far. But lately the lack of sleep has been getting to me. I feel myself not only becoming less productive, but I’m also caring less and less about fitting into this stupid mold that society would have me imprisoned in. The more exhausted I get over time, the more contempt I start to have for the whole stinking mess. Asking a night owl to work a day shift is akin to asking a day person to work a night shift. Sounds preposterous, doesn’t it? But there is no difference.

I’ve started reading some of the stories here and it’s good to know I’m not the only one, and I’m glad there’s a forum for this. That’s all I care to say for now, thanks for letting me vent.