hello, my name is lisa, im 16 years old and ive had dsps for almost 3 years now. i actually just found out that this was a common disorder with a name just a few days ago, until then i had no idea what was wrong with me.

usually at night i go to bed at around 2-3am or somtimes even later, no matter how tired i am from the previous day. this sucks because on school i have to wake up at 6:30, and i feel very bad and sick in the mornings. my mom yells at me every morning that i should wake up earlier and when i tell her that i cant wake up, she says ‘then go to sleep earlier.’ (now this ive heard so many times) ive told her and other people many times that i simply cant sleep early even if im tired and they dont understand.

i think what caused my dsps to start was when we started moving often. ever since i was 8, ive never been in one school for more than 2 years. it causes a lot of emotional stress for me. and not only do i change schools but i change houses more often(than schools). And the 3 countries ive lived in are all very different from eachother. about 2 years ago i started going to this bad school and hung out with a bad group of people, i stayed up late and did bad things. then i would try to correct my sleep by staying up the whole night and hoping to b so tired the next day that i would go to sleep at my desired time, however because i missed so much sleep, i would then sleep for 12-15 hours and wake up late the next day, then go to sleep late again.

sometimes in the morning i would drink many cups of coffee or redbull secretly to try to wake myself up. i was also stressed because i felt that in school people thought i was boring or stupid because i spaced out a lot and didnt talk because i was very tired.
also one summer, since there was no school, i started going to sleep at 5-6am, so i decided to find a new way to correct my sleep: by going every day a few hours later so that eventually i would go around the clock and back to the time i wanted go to sleep originally.

i was succesful in doing it, however it did not correct my sleep. it took about a week to do and it was in a way depressing (because it was dark and everyone was sleeping and everything was closed) now i realise this could have messed up my internal clock, and i could have gotton sleep wake syndrome (is that what its called when u go to sleep later and later each night?).
i dont try to correct my sleep to that kind of extent anymore, now i just try to go to sleep earlier every day. it works for about 2 days then i start going to bed again at around 2-3am. on an average school day i get about 4 or 5 hours of sleep. then on friday night, if i go to sleep at 2 or 3, i wake up at 2 or 3, then i get a headache. since i get headaches often i started to wonder why and i found out that when you dont get much sleep for a few days then suddenly get 12-15 hours of sleep you get headaches.

on weekends i dont get to go out much because everything is almost closed and i have to wake up when the sun is already gone. i get depressed that way.but it still feels good to finally sleep after 5 days of school. but then after i sleep for a long time on saterday and sunday, i feel so rested that i go to to sleep even later than 2-3am on sunday night to go to school on monday. somtimes i barely feel like sleeping at all until its almost time to get ready for school. getting a lot of sleep on the weekends actually makes the problem worse.

i have had problems in school for the past 3 years now like not getting good grades, they are getting worse and worse. i can feel myself in class dosing off, i find it hard to just listen to my teacher. also as i said i space out and when my friends tell me a joke or smile at me i have no idea whats going on and they probably think im stupid. also because of my grades and when the teacher calls on me to answer a question, i never know the answer because i dont know whats going on.plus i feel sick to my stomach at times and i feel weak from being tired (and when you cant sleep even from feeling this, it can get very fustrating. but then again it is at night that i am the most active)

on weekends i am always late to appointments and i dissapoint my friends everytime. just last saterday i got into a huge fight with my friends because i came 3 hours late to meet them at one of their houses. we had to make a film for class and i had the script and everything, so they had to wait for me to come, and i had to explain that it was just because i needed to sleep. In fact, that fight is why i looked up my sleeping problem on the internet. it was unbeleivable to find out about dsps, it was exactly what i was feeling for years and now i know its name! to people whom i tell my problem to, they tease me by saying i have insomnia. for a while i thought i had some form of it but now i understand that dsps and insomnia are very different.

i always used to be up on the computer and watching tv and listening to music at night and thinking that i just dont want to sleep, but now i do those things because i cannot sleep. my dad tells me it is because i think too much,or because i have too much stress from moving all the time and i think he is right, sometimes even though i was sleepy i would force myself to stay up just to finish my train of thought.

i think another reason why it started and why it still continues is because sometimes i WANT to stay up. but for stupid reasons. like i want to watch ANOTHER movie or i just want to surf the web, other times its because i dont want to go to school the next day so i stay up to ‘prolong the happiness’ of not being in school. even when i do these things im bored out of my mind but at the same time constently thinking and reevaluating every little thing, its annoying. because of this, i dont get any work done from school(homework), i dont exorcise to lose weight, i dont do the normal things that people do. this doesnt always happen though, and i have no idea if its normal or if what im writing is stupid right now. i have a feeling i have a few other disorders that may be causing more stress. like i make lists ALL the time to organise my thoughts, even though i am very messy, everything has to be organised, i think about every little thing. another thing is that i feel paranoid in a way…like when im away from school too long, it get this feeling like everyone is turning against me. somtimes im too afraid to open emails, and when i get mad at my friend for somthing, all im thinking about is that ill hav no one to sit next to in class so ill look stupid(i know it sounds really dumb, and its also dumb that i feel insecure about what people think of me)

anyways back to dsps,
my dad says i shouldnt go to a doctor for my dsps. it is common (especially for people in my age) and i do not need medical advice or anything like that. i beleive doctors make up names for everything so they can make money off of people who believe they are sick. i just hope i grow out of it.
i started a sleeping diary to record how much sleep i get every night. so far it reads: thursday night- 2 hours, friday night-8hours, saterday night-12 hours, sunday night-3 hours and today i got 7 hours so i am feeling pretty good, which means i probably wont sleep till maybe 2:30 tonight.
well its 7 o’clock now, i still have a long night (by myself because everyone is sleeping)
sorry if this was confusing to read, my thoughts were pretty random (it might not have been about dsps the whole time) but i had to tell to someone what i feel now that i know i hav DSPS.
i would reely like to hear from people with dsps too. dont be afraid to write a big story. i look forward to hearing from people(if this gets posted)